Heartfelt

Faith in Fairytales {The Day I Proposed to My Husband}

Today is a teeny tiny bit special. Why? It’s not because my husband and I are celebrating 17 years since we became “us”. Well, actually that’s a big part of it; but it’s also because today I’m going to propose to my husband. Wait… what? You’re already married, how does that work? Yeah, well, it probably doesn’t but it’s still something that I really need to do. So grab a coffee {or a wine} and kick back because I’m going to share with you our fairytale.

{Please note: because we have three little people who will, one day, need to be told the events that shaped their lives, I’m going to tell our story with {potentially} frustrating vagueness. But don’t worry, it won’t effect the general gist!}

Honeydew and Violet Secret Rings "Is forever enough…" via {In Our Gumboots}

I’ve always lived in my own little daydream. Wrapped up in a fairytale notion of life and love. A romantic to the core; I can often be heard spouting ideas of soul mates and cosmic connections {I blame Jane Austen novels!}. So when I first met my husband in our final year of high school, I embraced our adventures together and dreamed that they would end in nothing less than our very own “happily ever after”. As it happened, my dreams did come true. We were just meant to be and for 12 years we lived in our beautiful little fairytale world. Being together was as easy as breathing and we fitted together like two pieces of a puzzle – perfectly matched. Everything we did made sense and every decision we made had amazing outcomes. Nothing could stop us from achieving our dreams and together we were turbo boosted into every wonderful opportunity that life could offer! At 17 we finished our final exams and hopped on a plane to America. We missed our high school graduation because we were in Paris. We came back to Australia and less than 12 months later we decided to attend uni at a city 600kms from our hometown. It was a decision made on a whim {I’d never even visited the city!} but as long as we were together it would make for another great adventure! Everything flowed so naturally that after 7 years together my husband proposed. Unlike so many fairytales we had bypassed any drama: no untimely deaths of a parent, no curses to overcome or dragons to battle. Just us, smooth sailing towards our “happily ever after”. The event that seemed to solidify it was our wedding day. I remember our celebrant blessing our hands:

May they always be held by one another.
May they have the strength to hold on during the good times,
And the times when life will test you both.

Well, heck yeah! Of course they would! We would never let go. We were so in love and our souls were entwined. No matter what challenges life could throw at us, we would survive anything together! But what we didn’t realise was that life was just about to start testing our faith in “us”…

Faith in Fairytales - The Day I Proposed to My Husband via {In Our Gumboots}

Our “happily ever after” had well and truly begun. We had just been blessed with our second daughter. Another perfect piece of our beautiful little puzzle. My husband was interstate for work and I was reading a bedtime story to our 2 year old when it happened. Our fairytale world came crashing down around our ears. There was a knock at the door from two men in uniform. In the confusion that results from two Police Officers appearing on your doorstep, I immediately started to panic that something had happened to my husband. But what followed was the most debilitating conversation of my life. My father-in-law was gone. It was sudden; it was unexpected; it was wrong. My husband made his way to our hometown and the full story unfolded. Suddenly we were in our worst nightmare. I felt like we had been thrown down a big black hole with no torch and no way out. The days were a blur as we travelled back and forth to our hometown {a 6-7 hour drive with the most tolerant newborn and two year old in the world!}. Sometimes we were together; sometimes I was at home trying to re-establish a routine for the girls. We experienced the greatest kindness from friends who allowed us to stay with them and we muddled through the next 6 months trying to make sense of the situation and clean up his dad’s farm. Other friends tried to help but they couldn’t understand what we were going through so they gradually drifted away. My husband was crushed, mourning and confused. I could sense that something in him had shifted and understanding the extremity of the circumstances I made it my job to hold everything together. We would be okay if we stuck together but at that point I felt my husband’s grip on “us” loosening. The universe had dealt us the first blow to our fairytale.

The following months were a mass of confusion. It took a long time to sort through the mess and it seemed like recovery from the shock and grief was impossible. 18 months later and we were desperate to try to move on so we decided to move house and start fresh. We had always dreamed of living on a farm so we wanted to try to make it a reality. Life was too short to waste time! We bought a small property in the hills and moved in but within days we were dealt our second blow; our fairytale’s curse. Details are complicated but in a desperate attempt to move on we gave away a significant amount of money. Unfortunately the money we were giving away wasn’t readily available so we spent the next 12 months struggling to save and feed our family at the same time. The pressure was phenomenal. My husband struggled to cope and he did what I had feared, his hands let go. But, call it naivety or extreme optimism, I didn’t let go. I had faith that we could get through it somehow.

They always say that things happen in threes so the universe had an obligation to fulfil. In true form, and only months after giving away the last instalment of our money, we were dealt our third and most severe blow. The battle with the dragon. While I’m rolling with the fairytale metaphors I could suggest that my husband became the dragon and only true love could save him but that might be getting a little fantastical! Anyway, the last blow was an eye-opener. Unfortunately, it was also the straw that broke the camel’s back. After years of holding on to something that I knew was worth it, I began to lose hope and let go. But the funny thing about fairytales is that just when it seems like all hope has been lost for the soul mates, the prince gets his act together and shows up to rescue the maiden. At the same time that I lost hope, my husband found it. He grabbed on with both hands and he didn’t let go. Unfortunately, the last blow left me with Post Traumatic Stress so my voyage back has been a long one. But in the last few months I have finally realised one thing:

When it’s true love, you don’t have to both be holding on to get through the tough times. Sometimes you’re both holding on, sometimes only one person is holding on but as long as you don’t let go at the same time, you can survive anything. You face every challenge as one.

So today, on our 17th anniversary, I have to do this one thing. I have to propose to my husband. It’s my way of saying thank you. Thank you for grabbing my hand at the last minute. Thank you for holding on. And thank you for not letting go. We have surpassed our “happily ever after” and now we’re ready for our “forever after”. Wish me luck!
IOG-sig6012016

 

 

Honeydew and Violet Secret Rings "Is forever enough…" via {In Our Gumboots}

Now, I know you’re all wondering where I found our beautiful engagement rings… They were handcrafted by the lovely and incredibly talented Dani from Honeydew & Violet. I searched for ages for the most perfect ring to propose with and when I found Dani’s creations my heart nearly stopped! She was able to create the most precious piece of jewellery with a hand-stamped quote hidden inside the band. The quote that I chose is a small part of the lyrics from a favourite song we played at our wedding.

“How long do you want to be loved? Is forever enough… ‘cause I’m never, never giving you up.” Dixie Chicks

It’s pretty much the epitome of my husband’s and my love for each other so to find someone, so skilled, who could make these for us was a blessing! Dani’s beautiful jewellery is “organically imperfect”; just like us. If you’d love to see more of Dani’s creations, head on over to her gorgeous website at www.honeydewandviolet.com or visit Dani on Facebook or Instagram!

Honeydew & Violet - Hand Stamped - Organically Imperfect

Ring Photos: Kindly supplied by Honeydew & Violet

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15 thoughts on “Faith in Fairytales {The Day I Proposed to My Husband}

  1. Such a lovely story! Although we have never met in person, thank you for finding me and giving me the honour of being a little part of this by making your rings. It is exactly the kind of thing that our little company stands for, which is LOVE !

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Possibly not the easiest thing I’ve read while pregnantly emotionally unstable at 5am, but spectacularly written! And a wonderful reassurance of why I have loved you both for over 17 years now xo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. He was so excited and so happy that neither of us realised he didn’t even answer the question at the time! He didn’t have to though; we both knew the answer! Now he’s talking about a second honeymoon. Bonus!!! 😀

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  3. The universe throws these things at you for a test, the way you deal with them and the motive behind how you came to the outcome. You are strong individuals, you both have a road to travel. Your choice is to travel together no matter what. When one stumbles the other lends a hand until their feet are back on track. I love you all as much as I love my unicorns. xxxxx You know who I am

    Like

  4. I am that husband and I have the most amazing wife in the world!
    This was a moment I never saw coming and one that I will never forget.

    Joce we have been through a massive amount together and for you to make such a gesture, a chance to remarry, how could I say no?!

    You are the most selfless person there is, always looking out for others and delivering the best for our family.
    I hope that one day I can return all of that to you. I will forever be in debt to you for the love and support you have given me. You are my best friend, my only true friend and all that I have. You are what is great about this world. As always, my angel.
    You are the best Mother, no question, and our children love and absolutely adore you. You have raised them to who they are today and you should be proud.
    They say, “you don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone.” That was my reality, living proof.
    If you let go I will hold on. Believe me when I say I won’t be letting go. Never!
    You are beautiful in every way and I love you immensely. Words will never be enough, will never do this justice but they are all I have.
    Dylan xo

    If anyone reading this post knows Joce personally, send her some love, some praise, some recognition for all that she does for all of us. She needs that sometimes, she deserves it!

    Like

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